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	<title type="html"><![CDATA[Dingo Australia - Forum - Funny Stories]]></title>
	<link rel="self" href="http://www.dingo.com.au/forum/feed-atom-topic18.xml"/>
	<updated>2010-03-09T08:40:27Z</updated>
	<generator>PunBB</generator>
	<id>http://www.dingo.com.au/forum/topic18-funny-stories.html</id>
		<entry>
			<title type="html"><![CDATA[Re: Funny Stories]]></title>
			<link rel="alternate" href="http://www.dingo.com.au/forum/post155.html#p155"/>
			<content type="html"><![CDATA[<p>Yesterday I had to go out to Mt Tamborine for a Quote,&nbsp; <img src="http://www.dingo.com.au/forum/img/smilies/smile.png" width="15" height="15" alt="smile" /> <br />I get to the Property and the Husband and Wife are trying to shoo off two of the neighbours horses that should not be there, at the same time two of the biggest,snarling mastiff&#039;s I have ever seen are going hard at the same time.&nbsp; <img src="http://www.dingo.com.au/forum/img/smilies/yikes.png" width="15" height="15" alt="yikes" />&nbsp; I gingerly walk over, and say &quot;HI&quot;, and the Husband is ranting &quot;They Wont Shoo And The Mare Bites, They belong to the Neighbour&quot;.&nbsp; He sorta said this about six times as he was trying to shoo off the yomping horse and it&#039;s buddy. So I walk over, with one eye on the dog&#039;s who were behind a fence at this point, but I just knew we were not done yet.&nbsp; I took my hat off and went up to the mare, and yep she tried to bite me alright, those of you who are familiar with pissed of horses know that they flatten thier ears and their&nbsp; eyes look like something from a Stephen King Movie. So this friendly horse has two goes at me and I wack it with my hat and growl at it and tell it to bugger off, which it did with its buddy, they went right up to the Truck and Dingo Trailer and both fell in love with having turns scratching their collective asses on my 450 auger.&nbsp; But thats not all, the Doggy&#039;s were still there and now the Hubby opens the gate with the words &quot;They will be ok when they get used to ya!&nbsp; <img src="http://www.dingo.com.au/forum/img/smilies/yikes.png" width="15" height="15" alt="yikes" />&nbsp; USED TO YA, HOW FUCKING LONG DOES THAT TAKE, Raced through my mind as they both galloped at me with hunger in their eyes.&nbsp; Then Hubby buggers off and leaves me with the Wife and two very big and very scary dog&#039;s, Don&#039;t get me wrong, I like dog&#039;s, in fact most dog&#039;s are probably better than most people ya meet, you could go as far as calling me a dog person, but thse two Leroy Browns were&nbsp; fairdinkum.&nbsp; The Wife sort of says &quot;On Ya Bed&quot; to them each time they came growling at the same time to the back of my legs, (experience has taught me not to piss my pants, it only encourages them and also not to look into their eyes, well that&#039;s what I kept telling myself)&nbsp; So I say in my most&nbsp; manly contractors voice after about 4-5 close shaves with these two, Ahhhh could you lock the dogs up please?</p><p>So she call me a p***y,.&nbsp; <img src="http://www.dingo.com.au/forum/img/smilies/sad.png" width="15" height="15" alt="sad" /> Locks up the dogs and then we start to look at the job, Mind you all of this took about 15 min before a quote that took about half an hr. Gee I know how to pick em <img src="http://www.dingo.com.au/forum/img/smilies/wink.png" width="15" height="15" alt="wink" /> </p><p>Oh year the job 100mt x300mm x 1mt trench to be fill with concrete as a root barrier and spreading 30 cube of crusher dust through throughout the Green house, Hydroponic thingy. </p><p>Regards,</p><p>Craig</p>]]></content>
			<author>
				<name><![CDATA[BENTLEY]]></name>
				<uri>http://www.dingo.com.au/forum/user31.html</uri>
			</author>
			<updated>2010-03-09T08:40:27Z</updated>
			<id>http://www.dingo.com.au/forum/post155.html#p155</id>
		</entry>
		<entry>
			<title type="html"><![CDATA[Re: Funny Stories]]></title>
			<link rel="alternate" href="http://www.dingo.com.au/forum/post153.html#p153"/>
			<content type="html"><![CDATA[<p>Can we throw the odd joke in here?</p><p>I&#039;ll take that as a yes. <img src="http://www.dingo.com.au/forum/img/smilies/tongue.png" width="15" height="15" alt="tongue" /> </p><p>SUNBURN <br />A dingo contractor fell asleep on the beach for several hours and got horrible sunburn,<br />specifically to his upper legs. <br />&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; <br />He went to the hospital, and was promptly admitted after being diagnosed<br />with second-degree burns. <br />&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; <br />With his skin already starting to blister, and the severe pain he was in,<br />the doctor prescribed continuous intravenous feeding with saline,<br />electrolytes, a sedative, and a Viagra pill every four hours. <br />&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; <br />The nurse, who was rather astounded, asked, &#039;What good will Viagra do for<br />him, doctor&#039;? <br />&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; <br />The doctor replied, &#039;It won&#039;t do anything for his condition,&nbsp; but it&#039;ll keep<br />the sheets off his legs.&#039;<br /> <img src="http://www.dingo.com.au/forum/img/smilies/lol.png" width="15" height="15" alt="lol" />&nbsp; <img src="http://www.dingo.com.au/forum/img/smilies/lol.png" width="15" height="15" alt="lol" />&nbsp; <img src="http://www.dingo.com.au/forum/img/smilies/lol.png" width="15" height="15" alt="lol" />&nbsp; <img src="http://www.dingo.com.au/forum/img/smilies/lol.png" width="15" height="15" alt="lol" />&nbsp; <img src="http://www.dingo.com.au/forum/img/smilies/lol.png" width="15" height="15" alt="lol" />&nbsp; <img src="http://www.dingo.com.au/forum/img/smilies/lol.png" width="15" height="15" alt="lol" /></p>]]></content>
			<author>
				<name><![CDATA[Macca]]></name>
				<uri>http://www.dingo.com.au/forum/user25.html</uri>
			</author>
			<updated>2010-03-08T11:34:05Z</updated>
			<id>http://www.dingo.com.au/forum/post153.html#p153</id>
		</entry>
		<entry>
			<title type="html"><![CDATA[Re: Funny Stories]]></title>
			<link rel="alternate" href="http://www.dingo.com.au/forum/post149.html#p149"/>
			<content type="html"><![CDATA[<p>Now that they have cameras in mobile phones, it doesn&#039;t take long for every legend on the job to take a quick snap when something &quot;unexpected&quot; happens.&nbsp; The boys on a landscaping job were very happy to provide me with some momentos when I overfilled the bucket with 20mm gravel and put the pup A over T.&nbsp; &nbsp;<img src="http://www.dingo.com.au/forum/img/smilies/yikes.png" width="15" height="15" alt="yikes" />&nbsp; &nbsp;Oh well, you have to go to the limits to find out where they are.&nbsp; It&#039;s all good experience as long as no-one looses an eye. <img src="http://www.dingo.com.au/forum/img/smilies/tongue.png" width="15" height="15" alt="tongue" /> <br /><span class="postimg"><img src="http://i456.photobucket.com/albums/qq284/6455bren/Photo0153.jpg" alt="http://i456.photobucket.com/albums/qq284/6455bren/Photo0153.jpg" /></span></p>]]></content>
			<author>
				<name><![CDATA[Macca]]></name>
				<uri>http://www.dingo.com.au/forum/user25.html</uri>
			</author>
			<updated>2010-03-06T04:53:10Z</updated>
			<id>http://www.dingo.com.au/forum/post149.html#p149</id>
		</entry>
		<entry>
			<title type="html"><![CDATA[Re: Funny Stories]]></title>
			<link rel="alternate" href="http://www.dingo.com.au/forum/post67.html#p67"/>
			<content type="html"><![CDATA[<p>Ohh Maoriboy....are you in for a good time on here! By Bentley standard, that story was tame. He usually has some crackers.&nbsp; <img src="http://www.dingo.com.au/forum/img/smilies/big_smile.png" width="15" height="15" alt="big_smile" />&nbsp; &nbsp;<img src="http://www.dingo.com.au/forum/img/smilies/lol.png" width="15" height="15" alt="lol" />&nbsp; <img src="http://www.dingo.com.au/forum/img/smilies/lol.png" width="15" height="15" alt="lol" />&nbsp; <img src="http://www.dingo.com.au/forum/img/smilies/lol.png" width="15" height="15" alt="lol" /></p>]]></content>
			<author>
				<name><![CDATA["The Guru"]]></name>
				<uri>http://www.dingo.com.au/forum/user27.html</uri>
			</author>
			<updated>2010-02-18T08:00:46Z</updated>
			<id>http://www.dingo.com.au/forum/post67.html#p67</id>
		</entry>
		<entry>
			<title type="html"><![CDATA[Re: Funny Stories]]></title>
			<link rel="alternate" href="http://www.dingo.com.au/forum/post64.html#p64"/>
			<content type="html"><![CDATA[<p>You&#039;re lucky you didn&#039;t do the job.<br />If the dog was trying to screw you, imagine what the owner was going to do?! <img src="http://www.dingo.com.au/forum/img/smilies/yikes.png" width="15" height="15" alt="yikes" />&nbsp; <img src="http://www.dingo.com.au/forum/img/smilies/lol.png" width="15" height="15" alt="lol" /></p>]]></content>
			<author>
				<name><![CDATA[Macca]]></name>
				<uri>http://www.dingo.com.au/forum/user25.html</uri>
			</author>
			<updated>2010-02-18T05:13:08Z</updated>
			<id>http://www.dingo.com.au/forum/post64.html#p64</id>
		</entry>
		<entry>
			<title type="html"><![CDATA[Re: Funny Stories]]></title>
			<link rel="alternate" href="http://www.dingo.com.au/forum/post63.html#p63"/>
			<content type="html"><![CDATA[<p>10/10 mate I cant stop laughing, I can see I&#039;m gonna enjoy this forum.</p>]]></content>
			<author>
				<name><![CDATA[Maoriboy]]></name>
				<uri>http://www.dingo.com.au/forum/user47.html</uri>
			</author>
			<updated>2010-02-18T02:50:29Z</updated>
			<id>http://www.dingo.com.au/forum/post63.html#p63</id>
		</entry>
		<entry>
			<title type="html"><![CDATA[Funny Stories]]></title>
			<link rel="alternate" href="http://www.dingo.com.au/forum/post58.html#p58"/>
			<content type="html"><![CDATA[<p>A funny thing happend to me the a while ago,&nbsp; <img src="http://www.dingo.com.au/forum/img/smilies/smile.png" width="15" height="15" alt="smile" /> <br />I did the arvo swing by for the quote thing, anyway i&#039;m in the back yard with the punter going over the job etc, and from the corner of my eye I noticed a very very old Jack Russel dog very very slowly making its way in our general direction.&nbsp; Anyway fifteen minuites later he managed to cover the 5mt distance betwwn us, then KAPOW, he sprang into action and started humping my leg <img src="http://www.dingo.com.au/forum/img/smilies/tongue.png" width="15" height="15" alt="tongue" />&nbsp; like there was no tomorrow, naturally I flung my leg out with the usual, get off ya mongrel and he went for a sail into the wall.&nbsp; Now Mr punter took offence to me discouraging fido, and asked in shrill girly voice <br />&quot;What did you do that for?????&quot;&nbsp; <br />He was humping my leg, <br />and he said <br />well I&#039;m not going to give you the job if youre like that.</p><p>Geez some people. <img src="http://www.dingo.com.au/forum/img/smilies/wink.png" width="15" height="15" alt="wink" /> </p><p>Regards,<br />Craig</p>]]></content>
			<author>
				<name><![CDATA[BENTLEY]]></name>
				<uri>http://www.dingo.com.au/forum/user31.html</uri>
			</author>
			<updated>2010-02-17T09:06:26Z</updated>
			<id>http://www.dingo.com.au/forum/post58.html#p58</id>
		</entry>
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